The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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