one might say we're banned from that church
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
