I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
