the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
