Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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