elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
