I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize