how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize