1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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