At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
