Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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