Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
