Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
