The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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