You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
