the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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