i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you had me at cake vodka
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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