thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
