i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
