And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
