i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
MIDGETS
????
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
