I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
3pm strippers are depressing
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
