Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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