i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
