I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
