So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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