I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
