Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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