if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
