You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
