If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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