so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hippo gnu deer
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
