did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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