my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I looked at my own cervix.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
