only if we run a train.
done.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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