He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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