I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
