and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize