Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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