so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
