my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
