oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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