God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize