but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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