Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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