He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
