no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
