i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
