A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
