I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
