my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
