apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
