i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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