I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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