I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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