I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
