Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
