distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So here I am, sexting at work.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
