Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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