That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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