Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you made out with another girl for some wings
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize