Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
